Let's Talk About Boobs

Okay let's get this straight from the go. This is not a pornographic post, nor is it for any sexual entertainment or weird fetish. I'm making this because when I was going through my own insecurities I had nowhere to turn to help me. I want to make sure that no one else has to go through that and think that they have no one to talk to or that they are "imperfect". This is mainly for those of us cursed blessed with boobs, however it will do no harm, actually it will probably enlighten, those who don't.

Glad that's out of the way.

Everyone has insecurities. Everyone. It could be the way you look physically, the way you feel mentally or the way you act emotionally, but everyone has insecurities. One of my biggest insecurities are my boobs. Always has been. I hated the way they looked, the size they were and the way they made me feel. I always covered myself when I was changing for PE, never looked at myself in the mirror and closed my eyes in the shower. I hated them.

We all have this image in our head as to what way we have to look to live our lives in the best way possible. We think that if we don't look that way, we will never truly be happy. We're wrong.

I'm going to say the same thing that so many people have said before, but so many people have said it because it's true: the media is melting our minds.

The first image I ever saw of a woman's breasts were on the front of a male magazine in a newsagents when I was 6. 11 years ago, my innocent little eyes saw what has shaped my view of myself for years to come. So when I began developing my own, I was shocked to realise that they were nothing like I expected. They sat a weird way, were too pointy, too... wrong. They looked nothing like what I thought they would. But 12 year old me simply shrugged, still too much of a child to let it bother me much, thinking they would sort out themselves, thankful that I already had bigger boobs than my mum.

When I turned 14, I began to put on weight, fast. One of the first places I put weight on is my middle, so my boobs began to get bigger, and face more downwards than the woman on the magazine. This is when I began to become unhappy, and the more upset I got, the more I ate. This continued until I was just 15 and a half and I was taken to the doctor because it was affecting my health. I was not obese, simply overweight for my age, and it was making my tired and sluggish and anaemic.

This was when I began to become interested in boys, and wanted to look good for them. But when I looked at myself in the mirror, all I saw was this imperfect body that I believed no one could ever love; especially my boobs. In my mind, boobs where what boys loved and if I didn't have good boobs I would never be loved. Lorde, I want to slap younger me.

I wanted to get a boob job. I began almost obsessively looking up before and after pictures, reading what men thought of women with "saggy" boobs, calculating how much I would have to save to get the procedure. The more I read, the more upset I became and the more upset I because, the less I would look at myself and the more I wanted the op.

Until one day I came across this website, and I started to feel like I wasn't alone. I began to realise that there are other women out there, many other women, who felt exactly the way I did.

Then, a few days later, I came across this tumblr post with the comment:

"Yeah, news flash people, boobs generally only look “perky” while in a bra. There are super lucky people who have naturally perky boobs, most don’t. And this is because, SURPRISE, boobs are intended to feed babies and it’s hard for a baby being cradled in mum’s arm to reach a nipple that’s on the other side of the boob from where its mouth is.

Think of a soda fountain machine. The spouts are all pointing down, right? So you can put soda in a cup being held under the spout? If the spout was sticking straight out, it would be really hard to get a soda out of it.

Babies need to be able to reach a nipple easily so they can eat. Ergo, nipples are usually lower and angled more downward on a naturally hanging boob, both so it’s easier for a baby to reach and so gravity can do its part in pulling milk toward the nipple.
So there you go, outright ANATOMICAL proof that boobs are not there for the benefit of men."

I had become so obsessed with the way that a man would view me that I completely forgotten their true purpose; to give life. I started to think more about how amazing their function was rather than how they looked on the outside. Who cared what men thought? I could give life to another human and sustain it. I began to get more confidence in myself, even looking at myself in the mirror before hopping in the shower, and I have never looked back.

Yes, of course I still have days when I think gosh I'd love perky boobs like your woman from 50 Shades Of Grey but then I remember that I am perfect exactly the way I am.

So here are a few things to remember:

1 - BOOBS AREN'T FOR MEN

Yes they feel pretty good and yes they can be fun to play with, but if a guy you're with tells you he doesn't like the way you look, honey you get right up and walk right out and don't look back.

2 - YOU ARE THE GIVER OF LIFE

That's amazing.

3 - TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL

This is a must. I guarantee that you are not the only one in your friend group who feels this way or has boobs they aren't happy with. My friends helped me a lot, and by talking truthfully to them I discovered that not one of them was happy with they're own, so we all help each other out. If you're not comfortable talking to a friend, talk to your mum or aunt or granny. If you don't want to talk to anyone you know, I'm always here. Sometimes it does help to talk to an anonymous person, and I'm truly happy to help. Just don't go delving into the deep dark world that is the internet, because you'll end up feeling worse than you did before you went in.

4 - WEIGHT AFFECTS BOOBS

Probably not the thing you wanted to hear, but it does. However, losing it (just not too much) can help you to feel a lot better in yourself . When I started losing the weight I had gained I began using this cream to help keep them as good as possible, and it really works.

5 - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

This is one of the hardest things to get your head around, but it is completely true. The more you begin to love yourself the more self confidence you have, which in turn makes you love yourself even more. It's hard to see what natural bodies look like with all the propaganda thrown at us, however I have always found the most natural beauty in those who don't do anything with themselves and who always have a smile. A perfect example of this is if you google women in tribes who wear scarcely anything, yet are so comfortable in themselves because they know nothing less than the natural body they have been given, and they are incredibly thankful, and so should you be.

I hope I have been of some use to at least a few people as this is a post I have been wanting to do for a while now and now that it's here I feel quite scared to press the publish button, but I know that if I can help at least one person then I have done the right thing.

Leave a comment as always and I hope to talk to you guys again soon. Remember, I'm always here if you need me.

Song of the day : 'Young and Beautiful' - Lana Del Ray

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4uD6o9XxLs

N x

September Favourites 2015

It only felt like yesterday when the first of September came plummeting around the corner to bring summer to an abrupt  and painful end for me and James S. Potter who rode the Hogwarts Express to his first year at Hogwarts *squeals*, yet here we are, October already. But do not despair, because October means 2 things: Autumn and Hallowe'en.

However, now it is time to lament the rude beauty that was September and to share with you guys a few of my favourite things from this last month.

The first was my only read in September (only cause it was so motherf*ckin' big) and was the infamous 'A Game Of Thrones' by the great, yet somewhat creepy, George R. R. Martin. 

I was a late arrival to the GoT fandom, but I've decided to make up for my tardiness by reading the series that inspired the show. It has to be said that I wasn't expecting great things from this series, having watched the show and seeing how well it was dramatized, however I was pleasantly surprised to realise how wrong I was. 'A Game Of Thrones' is a beautifully written, well thought out piece of literature that depicts an easy to follow story (if you pay attention). 

The writing style is not what I expected at all, and the character descriptions are slightly different from the way they are on the show, but what page-to-screen adaptation isn't? There is stunning imagery and beautiful descriptions that allow you to create the perfect image in your mind's eye. My personal favorite line, and the one that sticks in my memory the most, is this - "Black and white and grey, all the shades of truth" as it so, well, true. For me, this was a definite favourite and I urge you to pick up the series, TV or book, if and when you have the chance. (FYI there are some raunchy scenes so DO NOT listen to the audiobook when your parents are within listening distance...)

My favourite music from this month is an older album, but has to be the masterpiece that is 'Glitterbug' by The Wombats.

If you regularly read my posts, or have seen a previous one of my own, you may have noticed that I do a Song Of The Day at the end of each post. I have used some of The Wombats songs there before, but I think now is the time to give them a proper tribute. 'Glitterbug' is the band's 3rd album and my favourite so far. Some of you may already know some of their songs, as they are used as background music for TV shows like The Inbetweeners, and that's exactly where I first found them. This is a definite favourite for me would be right up the street of anyone who likes the older, alternative indie brit pop. I'll leave a link to the album sample at the end of the post, and I highly recommend you give it a listen.

A TV show that I have been loving this September is Doctor Foster shown on BBC1 on Wednesday nights at 9pm. 

I know not everyone who reads my blog is British, or has access to British TV, but if you ever happen across this show online I would definitely recommend giving it a watch. It's a six part drama surrounding the life of Dr. Gemma Foster, who recently found out her husband was having an affair. It follows the complete upheaval of her life, and how she reacts to the news. Next Wednesday is the season finale and has been set up for a heart-wrenching and climactic finish which promises to keep the audience on the edge of their seats until the end.

My finale miscellaneous favourite of September simply has to be my favourite piece of stationary; my pencil case.

Now I know this seems like a silly thing to have as a favourite, but when I found it in Urban Outfitters (£8) I could not stop laughing. It has gotten me some pretty funny looks (by teachers especially) but it was totally worth it - I laugh every time I take it out of my bag. It's always the simple things...

And so that concludes my September favorites for 2015. Thank you very much for making it to the end of my rambles, and as always, a comment and a share would mean a great deal.

Song of the day : 'Glitterbug : Album Sampler' - The Wombats

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsiueB-2u0U

N x

A Level Study Tips

For those of you who don't know what A levels are, count yourself lucky. For those of us who do... you'll know what I mean.
Here in the UK, A levels are what we study in the last two years of school, ready to sit exams in either 3 or 4 subjects at the end of Year 13 and Year 14 to get into Uni. I have just started Year 13 and when people tell you there's going to be a running jump up from your previous year, believe them. I've been back at school 3 weeks and I've already handed in two 35 mark essays, completed an entire topic and have had a test. This is not GCSE. This is Hell.
So I've decided to compile a list of study tips to help keep on top of homework, independent study and class exams, whichever year you're in, before you slowly get the urge to eat glass or gauge your own eyes out or do both at the same time.

1. Do Your Homeworks The Day You Get Them, Not The Night Before It's Due 
This will help you more than you know. There is nothing worse than leaving an essay to the day before and soon realising that you will be working into the wee hours of the morning. This will inevitably make your writing worse and just lower your overall opinion of the subject it was for. Instead, try and at least begin your homework when you get it, either in a study period or for half an hour at home, to lighten your work load. Believe me, it helps.

2. Begin Studying For Exams Now
I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous, but it helps. If your school is anything like mine and you don't get study leave before exams during this year, you will thank yourself so much. It's not as hard as it sounds either. Simply write good notes, draw a spider diagram, make a mind-map every time you have a test in school or an end of topic test. Eventually these will build up your database and save you from wasting time on making notes just days before your exams.

3. Make Yourself A Clean, Organised Working Environment
As the saying goes, a tidy space makes a tidy mind, and it's so very very true. Spend time making your desk beautiful and practical, take pride in making little motivational posters, don't be afraid to spend money to make it perfect. The end result will be a cute, unique little space that you will be happy to go to at the end of the day to begin homework or study and you'll want to spend as much time there as you can.

4. Find Out What Works Best For You
Whether it be making flashcards or lists, mind-maps or diagrams, pictures or words, it's never too early to find out which way your mind works best and accommodate to it's needs. Figure out if you need silence or music to study to, and if so what type of music you need. My personal favourite music to listen to whilst studying is film scores and orchestral music (link to my study playlist at the end of the post).

5. Take Breaks
Do not try and do everything at once. I repeat do not try and do everything at once. This will only drive you to insanity and stress you to the max. Break down your study time into manageable blocks, usually between an hour to an hour and a half, and allow for breaks for half an hour to an hour. Make yourself a snack, take a shower, go for a drive, watch some TV, do anything to take your mind off your work. This will allow you to wind down and have a breath before returning with a fresh mind and new perspective as to what you were working on.

So that's that! I hope I have given you some ideas as to how to make your life a little more manageable, and I wish you luck in all your school/work/homework/life and I'll talk to you again soon!

Link to 'Study : A Playlist' - http://sweetlyundefined.blogspot.co.uk/2015/09/study-playlist.html

Song of the day : 'Something Good Can Work' - Two Door Cinema Club
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0hjjFoId30

N x

TMI

As I'm new to the whole blogging thing, and because one day I hope at least one person will find my page full of ramblings and take the time to sit and read what I have to say, I guess you'd probably like to know a little about me.

Yes, I know that I am one of the last people to participate in this tag, but really, I've never had much use for it before. But now I'm here and I'd like to share a little about myself...

1. What are you wearing? My school uniform and a hoodie because the house is freezing and I'm only home

2. Have you ever been in love? No, but hopefully I will be one day

3. Have you ever had a terrible break up? That would be hard because I've never actually been on a date with anyone

4. How tall are you? 5ft7"

5. How much do you weigh? That's TMI even for me 

6. Any tattoos? No, but I hope to get one next year

7. Any piercings?  Nope, piercings never appealed to me

8. OTP? Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood

9. What is your favorite show? Don't get me started... Right now, probably Game of Thrones

10. Who are your favorite bands? The Kooks, The Wombats, The Fratellis, Two Door Cinema Club ect.

11. Something someone you miss? John

12. Favorite song?  Wonderwall - Oasis (original I know)

13. How old are you? 17

14. Zodiac sign? Cancer

15. Quality you look for in a partner? Trust

16. What is your favorite quote? "I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life" - F. Scott Fitzgerald

17. Who is your favorite actor? Benedict Cumberbatch

18. Favorite color? Purple

19. Loud music or soft? Both

20. Where do you go when you’re sad? Under my duvet

21. How long does it take you to shower? 10-30 mins depending entirely upon the shittiness of the day.

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 30 mins

23. Have you ever been in a physical fight? I've been floored by a rugby ball if that counts?

24. Turn on’s? Good music/literature taste

25. Turn off’s? Obnoxiousness 

26. The reason I joined blogger? To be heard, I guess

27. What are your fears? Frickin' spiders. Creepy little buggers with all those eyes...

28. Last thing that made you cry? All The Bight Places - Jennifer Niven 

29. Last time you said you loved someone? To my best friend in school earlier

30. Meaning behind your blog name? I'm yet to be defined as a person.

31. Last book you read? Shatter Me - Tahereh Mafi

32. The book you’re currently reading? Unravel Me - Tahereh Mafi

33. Last show you watched? New Tricks

34. Last person you talked to? My mum

35. The relationship between you and the last person you texted? Grandparent

36. What is your favorite food? Ice cream

37. Place you want to visit? NYC

38. Last place you were? An ice cream parlour

39. Do you have a crush? Yes

40. Last time you kissed someone?  Last year I think? But technically they kissed me.

41. Last time you were insulted? Idk I block out the haters

42. Favorite flavor of sweet? Blackcurrant 

43. What instruments do you play? Piano

44. Favorite piece of jewelry? An opal necklace

45. Last sport you played? Badminton

46. Last song you sang? I made similar noises to that from'This Is Berk' from HTTDY

47. Favorite pick up line? Haven't a clue

48. Have you ever used it? I've never used any pick up line

49. Last time you hung out with anyone? Last period during school today

50. Who should answer these questions next? Anyone who feels like it

That was a very basic cover of random things I'm into or experiences I've had, but I'll probably reveal more about myself in other pieces a write. It's inevitable.

Song of the day : 'Wonderwall' - Oasis 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DvRCykzHy4

N x