Glad that's out of the way.
Everyone has insecurities. Everyone. It could be the way you look physically, the way you feel mentally or the way you act emotionally, but everyone has insecurities. One of my biggest insecurities are my boobs. Always has been. I hated the way they looked, the size they were and the way they made me feel. I always covered myself when I was changing for PE, never looked at myself in the mirror and closed my eyes in the shower. I hated them.
We all have this image in our head as to what way we have to look to live our lives in the best way possible. We think that if we don't look that way, we will never truly be happy. We're wrong.
I'm going to say the same thing that so many people have said before, but so many people have said it because it's true: the media is melting our minds.
The first image I ever saw of a woman's breasts were on the front of a male magazine in a newsagents when I was 6. 11 years ago, my innocent little eyes saw what has shaped my view of myself for years to come. So when I began developing my own, I was shocked to realise that they were nothing like I expected. They sat a weird way, were too pointy, too... wrong. They looked nothing like what I thought they would. But 12 year old me simply shrugged, still too much of a child to let it bother me much, thinking they would sort out themselves, thankful that I already had bigger boobs than my mum.
When I turned 14, I began to put on weight, fast. One of the first places I put weight on is my middle, so my boobs began to get bigger, and face more downwards than the woman on the magazine. This is when I began to become unhappy, and the more upset I got, the more I ate. This continued until I was just 15 and a half and I was taken to the doctor because it was affecting my health. I was not obese, simply overweight for my age, and it was making my tired and sluggish and anaemic.
This was when I began to become interested in boys, and wanted to look good for them. But when I looked at myself in the mirror, all I saw was this imperfect body that I believed no one could ever love; especially my boobs. In my mind, boobs where what boys loved and if I didn't have good boobs I would never be loved. Lorde, I want to slap younger me.
I wanted to get a boob job. I began almost obsessively looking up before and after pictures, reading what men thought of women with "saggy" boobs, calculating how much I would have to save to get the procedure. The more I read, the more upset I became and the more upset I because, the less I would look at myself and the more I wanted the op.
Until one day I came across this website, and I started to feel like I wasn't alone. I began to realise that there are other women out there, many other women, who felt exactly the way I did.
Then, a few days later, I came across this tumblr post with the comment:
"Yeah, news flash people, boobs generally only look “perky” while in a bra. There are super lucky people who have naturally perky boobs, most don’t. And this is because, SURPRISE, boobs are intended to feed babies and it’s hard for a baby being cradled in mum’s arm to reach a nipple that’s on the other side of the boob from where its mouth is.
Think of a soda fountain machine. The spouts are all pointing down, right? So you can put soda in a cup being held under the spout? If the spout was sticking straight out, it would be really hard to get a soda out of it.
Babies need to be able to reach a nipple easily so they can eat. Ergo, nipples are usually lower and angled more downward on a naturally hanging boob, both so it’s easier for a baby to reach and so gravity can do its part in pulling milk toward the nipple.
So there you go, outright ANATOMICAL proof that boobs are not there for the benefit of men."
I had become so obsessed with the way that a man would view me that I completely forgotten their true purpose; to give life. I started to think more about how amazing their function was rather than how they looked on the outside. Who cared what men thought? I could give life to another human and sustain it. I began to get more confidence in myself, even looking at myself in the mirror before hopping in the shower, and I have never looked back.
Yes, of course I still have days when I think gosh I'd love perky boobs like your woman from 50 Shades Of Grey but then I remember that I am perfect exactly the way I am.
So here are a few things to remember:
1 - BOOBS AREN'T FOR MEN
Yes they feel pretty good and yes they can be fun to play with, but if a guy you're with tells you he doesn't like the way you look, honey you get right up and walk right out and don't look back.
2 - YOU ARE THE GIVER OF LIFE
3 - TALK TO PEOPLE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL
This is a must. I guarantee that you are not the only one in your friend group who feels this way or has boobs they aren't happy with. My friends helped me a lot, and by talking truthfully to them I discovered that not one of them was happy with they're own, so we all help each other out. If you're not comfortable talking to a friend, talk to your mum or aunt or granny. If you don't want to talk to anyone you know, I'm always here. Sometimes it does help to talk to an anonymous person, and I'm truly happy to help. Just don't go delving into the deep dark world that is the internet, because you'll end up feeling worse than you did before you went in.
4 - WEIGHT AFFECTS BOOBS
Probably not the thing you wanted to hear, but it does. However, losing it (just not too much) can help you to feel a lot better in yourself . When I started losing the weight I had gained I began using this cream to help keep them as good as possible, and it really works.
5 - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
This is one of the hardest things to get your head around, but it is completely true. The more you begin to love yourself the more self confidence you have, which in turn makes you love yourself even more. It's hard to see what natural bodies look like with all the propaganda thrown at us, however I have always found the most natural beauty in those who don't do anything with themselves and who always have a smile. A perfect example of this is if you google women in tribes who wear scarcely anything, yet are so comfortable in themselves because they know nothing less than the natural body they have been given, and they are incredibly thankful, and so should you be.
I hope I have been of some use to at least a few people as this is a post I have been wanting to do for a while now and now that it's here I feel quite scared to press the publish button, but I know that if I can help at least one person then I have done the right thing.
Leave a comment as always and I hope to talk to you guys again soon. Remember, I'm always here if you need me.
Song of the day : 'Young and Beautiful' - Lana Del Ray