I want to be an author. Simple.
I'm lucky enough to write creatively without much persuasion or effort the same way as some people can play tennis really well or know how to fit in with new people in that envious way they do, and I am eternally grateful for this. I have been given a gift that enables me to create something out of nothing and have it sound good, and one day I hope to be able to share my gift with people in the same way that so many have shared theirs with me.
To me, being an author, fact or fiction it doesn't matter, takes a great deal of time and patience and hard work and dedication just to finally hold the finished product in your hand, let alone trying to get someone make your little black words into a book, and another step entirely to get people to read it. It's a damn hard thing to do.
This is why when I tell someone that I want to write for a living I don't want them to say 'Aww! That's cute!' (as they have so many times before) like what I have to say is trivial or irrelevant. I have been made to feel inferior because of my dreams because they don't seem to understand how hard they are to achieve and it makes me feel weak. It makes me feel like I'm throwing my life away. It makes me feel as if they are saying 'Aww! She's still following her childhood dreams? I wonder when she's going to realise that the world isn't made of childhood dreams.'
Well you know what?
The world should be made of childhood dreams.
My entire childhood was dedicated to reading the nearest paper or the newest Jacqueline Wilson novel, to writing stories about mermaids in the pond at the bottom of the garden or Christmas trees that came to life each year. My childhood was filled so entirely with words it's a wonder I can't spell better today. Those stories impacted me more than I knew then and more than I know now and I want to give someone the opportunity to feel the way that words felt to me, to inspire them to follow their dreams because we only have one chance at getting our lives right and if we don't do what makes us happy then what's the point?
So this goes to everyone out there who thinks being an author or being a writer is a trivially 'cute' job that anyone can do. The next time that someone tells you they want to write for the rest of their lives because it's their dream, don't demean their choices because it isn't what you would choose to do. Don't make them feel less of a person because they don't want to be a doctor or a social worker or a psychologist. Don't make them feel like they won't ever help or inspire people the same way other jobs would, because I don't know where I'd be without them.
(Shoutout to those coming from Mrs Speciale, leave a comment :))
Song of the day : 'Down in the Valley' - The Head and the Heart